This Simple Mindset Shift Can Help You Rebound After a Career Disappointment
Career Setbacks
Four years ago, I made a firm decision to change my career path. It wasn’t a simple or straightforward decision, mainly because I lacked the skills or experience for my new path. So, I turned to a competitive training program to help me reach my new career goal. And, while grappling with the fatigue and nausea of pregnancy, I dedicated every ounce of energy to putting together the best application possible (or so I thought).
After months of anxious waiting, the decision letter finally landed in my inbox. I quickly scanned the email and when I saw the words “we had many competitive applicants,” my heart dropped. Tears welled up even before I reached the dreaded “we regret to inform you…” I was crushed. This certaintly was not my first career disappointment, but this one stung more than usual. Securing a spot in this program was crucial for my new path, and the rejection made me question my future success and career trajectory. At that moment, I felt like a complete failure.
My experience isn’t unique. Many of us face such moments in our professional lives because career disappointments are inevitable. Whether it's a job interview that you spent weeks prepping for only to receive the dreaded email that “we have decided to pursue other candidates,” or the promotion that you toiled for only for your boss to tell you “Maybe next time,” or a business deal that fell through, whatever it may be, we are all acquainted with the anguish and sting of career disappointments and setbacks that threaten to derail our career plans. And, when they happen, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we're not good enough and that we don't deserve better.
Yet, we know from hearing the inspirational stories of successful people that disappointments and failures are key ingredients in the recipe for success. Knowing this, however, doesn’t soothe the sting when it happens to you.
But, how can you push through career disappointments or setbacks?
For most of us, when we experienced disappointments as kids, the well-meaning adults around us would cheer us up and tell us that they were proud that we had at least tried. This may be comforting to children, but it can fuel frustration and disappointment when you are an adult. As an adult, you may wonder “If my effort is worthy of pride then why wasn’t it good enough to get me what I wanted?” And in the midst of disappointment, dwelling on our unrewarded effort can fuel our grief.
The reality is, as adults, we need to shift our mindsets away from our efforts to progress to soothe our mental and emotional wounds when career disappointments happen.
You see, eventually, I reapplied for the program, more out of necessity than a desire to face failure again. However, during this second round, I noticed something, the process was easier.
Were the application requirements less stringent?
No.
Did I have more time to put it together this time?
No.
I now had a newborn in addition to my toddler so I had less time than before.
So what was different?
I was.
I had gained an understanding of what the selection committee was looking for. I had better resources and access to mentors for feedback. I dissected my old application and the flaws and gaps leaped out at me. My failure had actually pushed me closer to where I wanted to be professionally. I had made progress.
And that is the key to moving past career disappointments: shifting your mind from failure to progress.
Babe Ruth, one of the greatest baseball players, captured this mindset best when he said, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” In other words, you can push through career disappointments by focusing on how they drive you closer to your next success because:
Yesterday’s failure is tomorrow's progress.
This simple mindset shift can help you rebound after a career setback.
But how can you shift your mindset from failed effort to progress in the midst of crushing disappointment?
Here are 4 tips that can help you persevere and move your focus from your disappointment to your progress:
Give yourself time and space to process your emotions.
Don’t keep quiet. Grieve with a friend, and be unfiltered during those conversations.
Dig into what happened and do some self-reflection.
Once your emotions are less raw and tender, take time to think evaluate what happened. Below are some guiding questions:
What have you learned from this process that you didn’t know before?
How do you think you have grown during this process?
With what you know now and what you can do now, if you had to do this all over again tomorrow how would it feel? Would it feel just as hard?
Remember your past career successes.
Our lives will be sprinkled with career highs and lows. Unfortunately, for most, the sting of disappointment often lingers longer than the thrill of success. Thus, it’s not only critical to celebrate our successes but it is also important to take time to remember them, especially in moments of setbacks.
Broaden your view of success.
There are numerous ways that you can reach a goal. Each individual step you climb to get there is far less important when compared to the growth and improvement you gain during the journey. Successful people generally will have less to say about every step they took - in reality, most are unlikely to even remember. However, when you draw close to someone who has been successful in their career pursuits, you will hear more about their mistakes, the lessons they learned, and their growth along the way.
Arthur Ashe, who triumphed over the roadblocks of racial segregation to become the first African American male to win the US Open (1968) and Wimbledon (1975), said beautifully that:
“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.”
You can translate these wise words to mean that success is not something you arrive at one day. Rather it is a journey filled with your daily choices, actions, and experiences, and a journey of our lessons learned, our growth gained, and improvements made.
To quote the legendary poet, Maya Angelou:
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do.”
Career disappointment, setbacks, letdowns - however, you want to label it - will happen. The challenge is not allowing them to cripple your motivation to persist. Instead, flipping your perspective from your disappointment to your progress can really be the assistance you need to stand again and keep pushing forward.